I'm just not mean

I really really wanted to get back at Shawn for all the shit he has put me through over the last year. I had a plan and everything of how I was going to fuck with his head. But I can't do it. I just don't have it in me to be that mean. Not that that is a bad thing, its really a good thing, but still part of me wants him to suffer just a little bit for what he put me through. Ultimately I realized its not my place to decide if he deserves to be punished and it really isn't my place to do the punishing. And, as always, in my heart I forgave him for what he did. Don't get me wrong, I don't want anything to do with him, but I am just not the kind of person who can hold a grudge. I am a very forgiving person. I forgave my ex in California, again I want nothing to do with him after what he did, but I forgave him. I couldn't bring myself to do anything mean back to him either. He choked me and hit me; he stole from me and believe me I had many people asking where they could find him so they could "take care of him." Even though I knew where to find him, I wouldn't tell them where he was. I just wanted the drama to end, and I believe in my heart that someday he will pay for what he did, be it in this life or the next. It's not up to me to reap vengence on anyone. Charges were pressed, a warrant was issued, other than that its out of my hands. After everything I have been through I have learned that the best way for me to get through things like this is to allow myself to feel the pain, work through it, learn from it, and move on.