I have to...

I suppose rather than just commenting on everyone else's posts about the shootings I should just write my own. I kind of feel I have to because the whole thing is really surreal for me. Since I never update I don't think anyone knows that I have been working at the Blockbuster in Bellevue for that last month or so. It happens to be located right next to a McDonalds, the one that fired Robert Hawkins. Now I hate to say "I knew the shooter" or even "I met the shooter" because like I said in my comment on Raptor's post that implies that we at least exchanged names and we didn't. The fact is that I talked to him earlier this week. (I believe it was Tuesday night, but it could have been Monday.) He was just an employee either off work or on break sitting in the corner with his coat on and I was just waiting for my order and he started talking to me. I don't even remember what we talked about other than it was lighthearted and I was laughing. He left no impression on my other than being a slightly awkward but outgoing friendly kid. Had the conversation happened even a week ago I am sure I wouldn't have even remembered it. I just can't wrap my brain around how someone can joke around with a stranger one day and the next shoot a bunch of strangers. Its just so tragic. I spent a good amount of time in tears on Wednesday. Even before I made the connection between the shooter and the kid in the corner I just couldn't get over the sadness of the whole thing. That said, I do agree with Raptor that life must move on. I shed my tears for the strangers and their families. I have said my prayers for them and now I must move on. It may seem quick and I understand that not everyone can just move on. I would be lying if I said I will not feel a twinge of sadness every time I pass by Westroads for a while. I just can't actively mourn for strangers longer than a day or I will go nuts. Tragedies happen everyday all around the world and if I continue to dwell on them I will never stop crying. My loved ones are all safe tonight and I am thankful for that.

On a completely different note on the same topic it was really interesting watching national coverage on this event. What really got to me was seeing their "experts" discuss what his personality was probably like. They depicted this psychopathic person when the interviews with the people who knew him described him as a depressed kid with some family issues. If anything I blame media coverage and reporting on events like these for causing more of them. Not that its an excuse. There is no excuse for killing 8 strangers, but if you are an unremarkable depressed kid who wants to get noticed by someone, their family, a stranger waiting for their food, or the entire country there is one thing that will do it. Maybe if the media would start downplaying the shooter and only talk about the victims it wouldn't be such an easy way for someone to "be famous" or "go out in style" or whatever it was he wrote. That was another discrepancy between national and local news. He was also 18, 19, or 20 depending on which channel you were watching. Sorry, the little detail changes got annoying to me after awhile. And that is my two cents on this issue. Since I probably won't post for another three months because I am just too lazy I wish everyone a happy and safe holiday season.