Cops in Omaha suck!

So I am driving home from work the other day and notice a cop following behind me a little ways. I drive exactly the speed limit, obey every traffic law and a little while later I am being pulled over. His reason? I changed lanes and didn't have the turn signal on long enough before moving over. What the fuck? No ticket or anything, he just wanted to know what someone with California plates was doing in Omaha. Asshole. I really wanted to laugh at him or yell at him or something, but didn't want a ticket. This makes the second time I have been pulled over on the interstate driving home from work for no good reason. At least I have not been given any tickets yet, then I would really be mad.

I've been distracted

I know I have been bad about posting lately. I have been distracked. I have barely even checked my email lately, but I have not cut back anytime with my friends, which I am thankful for. The last thing I want to do is make my new boyfriend my world and not leave any time for my friends. The great thing about my boyfriend is that he actually encourages me to spend time with my friends. Someday I will have him meet my friends, which I must admit makes me a little nervous. The last time I introduced a boyfriend to the group it was not a very good thing, but my new man is more like us so it shouldn't be a problem. Still, it is worse than introducing a boyfriend to the family in some ways. Mostly because there are so many of us and so many different personalities and everyone means so much to me and their opinions matter to me. So like I said, a little more nervous about him meeting my friends than my family.

So anyway, what has been going on...it was wonderful to see Mr. and Mrs. Poni. They are both such wonderful people, I am glad that I got to spend time with them. I had fun gaming with them and will probably be joining the regular game. Yes, I am a nerd.

Jennie's party was so much fun. Great times, great food, loved seeing everyone, catching up and reliving old times. Seeing Jennie was of course the highlight of the week. We have kept in touch, but due to living on different coasts for the past 2 years it had been sooo long since we had actually seen each other. I even got to see the dress. I must say, she looks gorgous in it. I truly felt honored that I got to be a part of the fitting. I am extremely grateful that our friendship has remained strong through the years and the distance.

I had Easter lunch (due to my work schedule we ate at like 1:30) with my family. My father came over and my brother and his girlfriend came up from Lincoln. It was very nice. My brother's girlfriend is sweet, I really liked her. There is still a lot of distance between me and my brother, but at least there is no tension. I guess it will just take time.

Wednesday night I went down to Lincoln to have dinner at my boyfriend's mother's house. It went really well. She is a very nice lady and parents usually like me. At least they seem to.

Since then I have been watching a lot of movies with 1031 and the T. First was Pirates, which is a very high budget porn. It was great. The whole thing. :) I didn't know you could use a burning candle like that. All I can say is I love being a pirate. The next day I went to Silent Hill with the boys. It was a good movie, probably would have liked it more if I ever played the video game. Still, it was cool. I really liked it. Tonight I watched Final Fantasy VII with the boys over at Rose and Roberts. I liked it a lot more than I thought I would. Since I don't play video games I thought that I would not really like movies based on video games, but these two at least were very well done.

My mother got a puppy yesterday. I found this out when I got home at like 2am last night and there was a kennel by the door that started to bark at me. She has wanted a puppy for some time now, but I kind of think that the fact that her dog likes me more than she likes her made her want a new puppy to love her even more now. Oh well, now I have another animal to play with. No complaints here.

I am now thinking of going back to school to become a veterinary technician. I really love working with animals, I wanted to be a vet growing up, but I am allergic to just about all animals so I desided against pursuing it years ago. Now, my allergies don't seem as bad, and it is what I really want to do, so I figure why not? I still have a lot of research to do in cost and schedules to see if it is really possibly. It may be a little difficult, but with some effort I am sure I could make it work.

So, that should cover everything that I have been up to in the last like 2 weeks. I will try to keep up with posting at least once a week, but I am trying to spend less time on the computer and more time doing things that are more productive. Hopefully I will start reading more soon. I was doing so well in California, but I had fewer friends out there so it was easier to read. I also got longer breaks at work, so there is like almost an hour of reading time a day right there that I am not getting. I should really try to get in the habit of reading at least a chapter before bed. At least it would be something.

My life has improved

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	7
Mind:	7.1
Body:	7.3
Spirit:	7.5
Friends/Family:	5
Love:	6.9
Finance:	7.4
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

I don't know why I felt the need to put this up again, other than to show how much my life has improved in the last week or so.

I finally finished...

my book that i had starting reading and almost finished back in Febuary. I thought I would never start reading again, but my wonderful new boyfriend (yes I have a new boyfriend) had to do some homework last night for class, so I got to read and when he finished I got to curl up in his arms and finish my book. It was wonderful. My ex used to hate it when I read, my new boyfriend actually encourages me to read. I love it!

mmm cheese

Cheese Test: What type of cheese are you?

You are a cheese of different shapes, sizes, and textures. You are dependable, generous, and modest. You want to please everyone, but sometimes you have trouble remembering yourself.

These cheeses are made from goat's milk. They come in many sizes and shapes, such as round patties, log-shapes, drum-shapes, pyramids, round loaves, long loaves etc.; their textures vary from soft, but firm like cream cheese to extremely hard. Chevres are excellent dessert cheeses, often served as snacks or before dinner drinks. Goat cheese is often served as an ingredient in many fine dishes. [ Country: France || Milk: goat milk || Texture: semi-hard ]

Why the tension?

So I learned quite a bit the other night. I wanted to know what tensions there were currently amongst various people in the group, and I certainly did learn a bunch of them. Here is my disclaimer: I will try to be as vague as possible as to not stir up more tension or upset anyone, that is not my intension at all. I do not judge anyone for how they feel, this is simply my point of view on things. I do not take sides, I have no ill feelings for anyone. The only reason I am posting about it is because it was discussed and now it is on my mind.

Some of these tensions I kind of knew, some I had no idea about, and some were from high school still, which I don't understand. 1031 had a post about this a while ago. I guess I just don't understand holding onto high school shit. What is the point? I think we were all very different people in high school, we have learned and grown and matured, so drop the stupid shit said or done in high school already. Its just extra, unnecessary baggage to carry around, you don't need it. Some of the stuff that happened while I was living elsewhere I was aware of, but I never really knew the impact of I guess. People shutting other people out, others doing too many drugs, keeping secrets, not being there for someone, shit like that. What really made me think though, was I did most of these things too. I went away for seven years and never really looked back, didn't keep in touch, nothing. While I was away I became a huge drug addict and almost died. Somehow though, I seem to be welcomed back without much question, which by the way I appreciate more than anything. You wouldn't believe how worried I was about if I would be welcomed back or not. I was reminded that it wasn't like anyone was trying to get ahold of me and I just wasn't responding. I moved and I was busy with school and work. I wasn't purposely shutting anyone out, and if anyone wanted to get a hold of me 1031 and Jen have always known how to. So I guess there was that difference in what I did and what the other person did, but still I pretty much dropped off the face of the earth as did this person, should it make that big of a difference that I was in Chicago and this person was still in Omaha? We still essential did the same thing even if our reasons for dropping out of site were different. As for the drug thing, no one in Omaha, except 1031 who visited me in Chicago a few times, saw what I was doing to myself in my addiction. It is different to hear about what happened to me then to actually be there to witness it. Not that my friends in Omaha didn't witness the begining of the downfall, my committment to a mental hospital before I left, the insanity and drama that was my life, but believe me when I say, it just got worse. No one really shut me out for this, maybe didn't know what to do about me, but I never felt any tension about it. Why get angry at someone else for doing something similar? Yes, it is extremely hard and frustrating to watch someone fuck up their life and not see why they are doing it when it seems obvious to you, but that is on them. Believe me, you can't force someone to see their problems, I tired with my mother, it doesn't work. All you can do is try to be there, try to point in the right direction, and hope that someday they will come to their senses.

I couldn't be more grateful about the second chance I have been given both in my life and with my friends. I guess the only thing I don't get is why everyone else can't have another chance? I know some things are harder to get over then others, but we are all friends for a reason, there is something there other than what ever upset you. Maybe not everyone deserves or wants another chance, but for those who want it and maybe deserve it, why not try to give it to them? Lets try to focus on the good in people and not worry so much about the bad. Everyone is flawed, no one is perfect, we have all done bad things and I think we all deserve to be forgiven.

I'm a Prophet

You Are a Prophet Soul

You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone. Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people. Sometimes this faith can lead to disappoinment in the long run. No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way. You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle. Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings. A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning. You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer. Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Gay cowboys are boring!

So I now know why they had to use the damn line "I wish I knew how to quit you" on every trailer of the movie; there were not very many lines to choose from. They were not very chatty unlike the gay guys I know in real life. There really wasn't much in the movie that I didn't get from the trailers. The sex scene kind of caught me by surprise a bit though. Not that I didn't know it was coming, just that they were asleep, woke up, it seemed like they were going to fight each other, no kissing or anything, then Heath is fucking Jake up the ass. Jake always seemed a little fruity, but Heath seemed to go from straight to gay in like 5 seconds. I guess I thought there would be more leading up to the ass fucking, but that is just me. I like a little foreplay. The movie wasn't bad. It was very well done, beautifully shot and all, I guess I just expected more. It is probably much better as a book or short story or whatever it was before they turned it into a movie. When the main character doesn't say much its kinda hard to get into his head especially if you are not really in the mood to try. Heath did do a good job, but there is only so much a quite, brooding look can say until you want to ask what the fuck are you thinking? And you don't get to see that much of Jake's life away from the "fishing trips." At least I now know if he was ever able to quit him. The one thing that I did not get from the fucking trailer. I am now going to spoil it, not that anyone cares, no one wanted to see it, he dies. He dies in like the very next scene after he says it. That is how he quits him, by dying. Do you know how hard it is going to be for me at work to not spoil this? I hear that damn line at work about 16+ times a day and anyone who knows me well knows that I talk to random things, objects, the t.v., whatever. At this point that line is already driving me nuts, so at some point I am going to want to scream at the trailer tape for him to just die already. Probably lose my job if I did that though. By the end of the day I will probably be mumbling it under my breath. Stupid gay cowboys driving me nuts. Oh and with all the hype around this movie guess how many copies we have for rent? Seventeen. That is all. I will have to practice the phrase, no we are checked out of Brokeback Mountain. Hopefully I won't slip and say, no we are checked out of the stupid gay cowboy movie.