Sunday, October 30, 2005

An Amends

I figure it will only be a matter of time before my old friends who all have their own blogs start reading this, especially if I tell Jen and she puts up a link, so I thought I should post this before anyone starts to read it. I just wanted to say to everyone that I am sorry for not keeping in touch with you. Between me moving around the country and supporting a healthy drug addiction, I just lost track of so many people that have meant a lot to me in my life. For those of you who do not know, I have gotten clean and sober and have been for almost two years now. Most of my time spent in Chicago was spent "heavily medicated" to put it nicely. If you want blunt, I went crazy, overdosed, and ended up in rehab. But for the past 21 months I have been slowly putting my life back together, and it would be nice to mend some of the friendships from my past that I hope I have not lost forever. I would say more, but this is a public bog afterall. I wish everyone well, and I hope you can forgive my previous behavior.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

I wanted one too

So recently I have noticed that many of my old friends (whom I have not talked to in many years) have their own blogs and this is how they communitcate with eachother, so I thought to myself, maybe I should get a blog. I blog on myspace, I know I am lame, but I have to be so vague because I have no idea who reads it, and right now, no one will be reading this because no one knows about it. I don't know if I will even tell anyone about it. I might just use it for myself, to vent about whatever because I am sure my roommate is sick of hearing me moan on about crap. Most recently my ex from 7 years ago that I might move back to Omaha to be with. Its crazy and probably stupid, but I am still in love with him. Seven years and I can't stop thinking about him, and when I finally met a nice guy in California all I could think about was my ex in Omaha. I think there is something seriously wrong with me. I am going back to Omaha for Thanksgiving, so I should have a better idea of where things stand between us after that trip, until then my mind is going nuts. It is such a big expensive move, and to move for something that might end badly anyway and then I am stuck in Omaha, which I swore I would never move back to. But my stupid heart is telling me to go for it. I just don't know what to do. My love life has always been complicated and filled with broken hearts and bad decisions, why should this be any different? Hell my last relationship ended in domestic abuse and theft, it can't get much worse than that right?